Wedding Wednesdays: A Crash Course in Miracles
Happy Wednesday Pilgrims! It is my sincere wish that all of you are living and thriving on this day in your journey called life.
Life.
It's such a simple word. One we encounter so often that it is easy to take it for granted.
But as for me, at least on this particular day, its a word that I can't simply shrug off.
Life is one of the many miracles we experience daily.
The fact that human life begins with the convergence of a microscopic sperm and an inanimate egg,
The fact that you went to sleep last night,
And yet your heart kept pumping and the blood kept flowing and even your brain was still at work
The fact that you woke up
Is a miracle!
I know weddings and miracles don't have an obvious connection at first look but in my case it certainly does.
It would also be remiss of me not to talk about it after the events of the past few days -
Last Friday. Danny and I picked up our marriage license.
(Woot Woot!! It's almost official!! :-) #buteverybodyknowsalmostdoesntcount #saythat)
That was definitely exciting and for me it was a surreal moment that I did my best to take in…#sothisisreallyhappening
We went to the clerk's office first thing in the morning. We had to raise our right hand and swear that the information on our application was true. (#swear) Danny took control of the official document because I was leaving him and the clerk's office to go straight to work.
I also aced an interview that takes me one step closer to my ultimate goal of freedom within my purpose. It was a great day!!
Saturday.
To be honest, Saturday morning is a blur. All I can really remember is not eating. I had a scheduled 1:00pm trial run with the make-up artist for the wedding.
I didn't make it to my appointment.
I do remember talking to my big sister. General talk. Towards the end of our laughter and catching up there was talk was talk about hair and make up for the wedding. I whined about wishing she could go to the trial with me. I promised to take before and after pictures. And she gave me some additional pointers to ensure even from a distance that the trial run would go successfully.
The appointment wasn't far from where I live but I did have to take the highway. For 30 minutes I sat in stand-still traffic a mile away from my exit because of roadwork. (Why Atlanta decides to do roadwork on the highway in the middle of the day on a weekend? I'll never know.)
I let the make-up artist know I was running late and what was going on and she told me she had another appointment at 3p. I thought to myself then, that maybe it would be best to re-schedule and that maybe I should go home. But to turn around and go home I would still need to get off at the same exit. Finally traffic started to move and I decided I would still try to make the appointment.
I got off at the exit. Took the road I have traveled many times to get to church. Rounded that last and final corner at 35 mph both hands on the wheel and
Suddenly my car starts to HYDROPLANE
Its veering off into the other lanes and towards the lanes designated for oncoming traffic
No other cars are around
I try to correct but have no control of the car until suddenly it jerks overcorrects
And sends me spinning
And I'm heading directly into a light pole
I whispered "Jesus"
It wasn't a fearful whisper
In fact if I had to unpack the tone behind that whisper this is what it would be -
"Well, Lord I wasn't expecting it to be today but since it is okay, I'm coming home."
SMACK!
The car hits the light pole
It spins forward and finally stops.
BOOM!
The light pole has now fallen on top of the car.
And finally there's one last
CRASH
The light pole has rolled off of the car.
I'm completely in tact. Not a scratch. I'm not in pain. But I'm shaking. I was prepared to go but since I'm still here I'm in shock and disbelief.
Shaking, I put the car in park and turn off the engine.
Grab my phone
I'm at 8% battery life.
But I'm okay. I can't get out of the driver's side because the door won't open so I climb over and get out the door on the passenger side.
No other car was involved. Do I call the police?
I call Danny (who is at work), voice shaking. "I, I was in an accident, I hit the light pole. There's no other car. Do I call the police. I…" I'm half-way hysterical, (but without the crying).
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Where are you?"
I told him my location.
"Call the police. I'm on my way."
"Okay. My phone is going to die, I only have 8% left."
"Call the police. Call me if something happens before I get there."
I call the police. Take pictures of the damage. I tell kind passers-by that I'm fine and help is on the way.
The police arrive. Take my statement. Call for a tow truck to tow my car.
Finally my knight in shining armor arrives. He gives me the once over asks me if I'm okay then springs into action. He looks at the damage. Danny, perfectly calm and helping me take the necessary steps.
On our ride back in his car, he asks what lesson I've learned.
"Thank GOD and Don't take life for granted?"
"That's a given. And?"
"I don't know. Keep my phone charged?"
"Yes."
Of course he proceeds to explain how having a dead phone could have been problematic and a point of worry.
So Miracle #1 I got into an vehicular altercation with a light pole and lived to tell the tale. Sure I wrecked my car but there are worse things than not having a car. (The insurance verdict is still out but the tow truck man said it's totaled - 8 years that car and I have been together - SO many memories from high school until now)
Miracle #2This heavy duty light pole, that weighs maybe a ton, did not slice through the car.
Miracle #3The light pole rolled off my car. By itself. That should not have happened based on how the light pole fell on the car. It should have remained on top of the car until someone or something moved it. But Someone did move it! (winks, shout out to my Heavenly Father and His crew of angels)
Miracle #4my 8% battery life survived the ordeal. Believe me, my phone has died on me for lesser things with like 15% remaining and sometimes as much as 75%. Yes, there was that one time I dropped it in the sink but still. It shouldn't treat me that way. And Yes, I will do my best from now on to keep my phone juiced up.
Danny asked if I had eaten I told him no. He asked me many times if I was sure I was okay. We stopped at the store on the way back.
And he cooked for me!! :-) Which is really nothing out of the ordinary except that I really like when he gets fancy with the presentation.
His boss called and told him not to worry about coming back in for the rest of the day. So Danny just stayed there and made sure I was okay.
Miracle #5 The Miracle of Love.
I'm still amazed at the way Danny can put me before himself. It's beautiful. I only hope that I've made him feel the way he makes me feel. I know I'm safe. Sometimes that's been difficult for me to accept and it shows up most in my verbal communication. With 16 days remaining I know that's an area I need to work on. It gives me cold feet.
Since I was 9 years old (I remember I was 9 because I got a Spice Girls Diary from one of my friends for my birthday, it was my first diary, and I have had many more since that first one) I have turned to GOD and writing to work out my deepest thoughts and feelings. That was it. Of course I had secrets and feelings that I shared with my big sister. But the things that hurt the most or that I feared the most I kept to myself.
I am used to spilling my guts, tears, fears and emotions onto paper, not a person. Using a pen. Not my voice.
(The transparency of this blog is a direct result of my always writing, to clearly and articulately express myself.)
And yet, the truth that has been in my face (for at least the last 10 months if I'm not going to count all the years we've known each other,) is this: there is a physical person, Danny, who I can see and touch, who is willing to bear the weight of my thoughts, and insecurities, and angst - in a way that I've only allowed paper and pen to do until now.
But my attempts at deep, naked, intimate verbal communication with Danny often leave me frustrated. I become a bumbling sap who stumbles over her words rushing to get them out so I can feel validated and understood by him.
How can someone so articulate and generous with sharing as a writer be so terrible at sharing through verbal communication? #KirkCobain #Ididittomyself. All it took was a few years of bad practice.
I have much to unlearn.
And even more to learn. It's going to require a lot of practice.
Things that I once embraced like turning to pen and paper I need to exchange for better things like turning to Danny. (I need to say that to him, hey, #judgeme #idontcare, it's still progress. And yes, Danny does occasionally read these posts #incaseyouwerewondering)
He sees my frustration and is patient with me. He continues to point me back to lessons we learned in premarital class about how to form healthy habits of intimate communication. It's been a bumpy ride.
But the Miracle of Love is being able to love through the crashes, and kinks, through the bumps and hitches.
Eden comes easy -
The experience of falling in love -
"Sensing the God arranged the meeting.
The feeling of amazement.
Feeling a sense of belonging to each other.
Knowing that you were meant for each other.
Feeling something within each of us that cries out for something deep within the other" - Gary Chapman
(Covenant Marriage, Chapter 17 Intimacy: Naked and Unashamed, Page 151)
But I've learned that the Miracle of Love is the endurance and effort required and provided to achieve and maintain that relationship paradise.
I Thank GOD for my Adam and for the miracle of love at work in our lives.
It's the middle of the week!
Miracles are happening in and around us everyday. Recognizing them is a lesson we should all learn. I pray we all learn to do that without needing a physical crash course.
Count the Miracles at work in your journey today.
(Two more Wedding Wednesdays posts to go until I'm a married woman, Lord willing.)
Peace. &. Blessings
-CN
Honey Fund Says: Daniel and Cara-Marie's big day is fast approaching! 16 days and counting...